James Kennedy is many things; a self-proclaimed “white Kanye,” a DJ of the event formerly known as See You Next Tuesday, a father to his toy Goldendoodle Graham, a loving partner to the dead-eyed Raquel Leviss. But above everything, James Kennedy is a comedic genius.
Don’t believe me? You must be a f*cking idiot. But alas, I give you the funniest moments from James Kennedy on Vanderpump Rules.
When He Turned Heartbreak into Comedy
Season 6, Episode 2: UnFaithful
It’s the beginning of season 6, a tumultuous time in all of our lives after we found at (in the premiere episode, no less) that Jax cheated on Brittany. Does he cheat on someone every season? Yes. Did we think Jax and Brittany were going to be an exception? No. Were we still shaken as a community? Also yes.
In this scene, James is telling Lisa Vanderpump what happened at the now infamous masquerade party. And of course, being James, he’s giving the story his all, raising the stakes with an exaggerated imitation of Brittany finding out the devastating news. Even Lisa Vanderpump who posits herself as the show’s moral center couldn’t help but crack a smile. He just commits so well!
When He DJ’d World Dog Day
Season 5, Episode 2: What Went Down
The road to success is not only paved with failure. Sometimes it’s also paved with things that you don’t want to do but have to because you’re young and “paying your dues” and for James Kennedy, that means DJ-ing at World Dog Day. And remember, this is a real outdoor event with people outside of the VR cast, so part of James’ duties included some miscellaneous announcements. These next quotes weren’t intentionally funny, but they still made me laugh harder than any streaming or network comedy ever.
“Will the owner of a Toyota please head to the DJ booth? I found your keys. It’s got Mickey Mouse key on it. Toyota, owner of a Toyota, I’ve got your keys”
“Don’t forget, doggie yoga starts at 2 o’clock. Relax with some yoga, bring your pups, chill.”
“Just a reminder, pick up your poop.”
The funny thing is that while James is paying his dues, he’s also bragging about his illustrious career, which makes his announcements at World Dog Day even more hilarious. Shout out to the Vanderpump Rules editors, who go above and beyond to give us LOLs for days.
When He Told Sandoval to take a Honda Civic Selfie
Season 3, Episode 1: Instafight
If you haven’t gone back and watched the episodes of VR where James and Kristen are dating, consider it to be your life’s priority. Remember that before James was good-looking, albeit in an offbeat way, he was just a skinny busboy on the fringes of the VR cast. That is, until season 3 when he started dating Kristen. James went from a background extra to the star of the show, and it’s all Kristen Doute’s fault. She really must kick herself at night for that.
Of course, Kristen started dating James pretty soon after she broke up with Tom Sandoval, and to put it lightly, she hasn’t fully gotten over him. But, like a third grade girl with a crush on a boy, her only way to interact with Tom is to fight with him. Like Kristen, James is an alcoholic who loves to fight when he’s drunk, so their altercation at the season 3 premiere was no surprise.
Keep in mind that before James and Kristen started dating, James was going to take her place in Sandoval’s apartment, and let’s just say that he didn’t handle it well with Tom. Apparently he had complained about financial struggles, garnering Tom’s sympathy, before he banged his ex-girlfriend, ditched their housing plan and bought a BMW to take selfies with. In this scene, Kristen and James are harassing Sandoval, angering him until he finally takes the bait and makes a comments about James’ BMW selfie. And, well, the rest is history.
When He Mocked the Pumptini
Season 5, Episode 13: Ambush
The (possibly sexual) tension between Jax and James is a theme that runs through Vanderpump Rules like goat cheese balls run through SUR. In this episode, Crazy Kristen brings two of James’ alleged lovers to confront him about their alleged affairs. Jax, who at the time is being accused of homosexual behaviors by Brittany’s charming and progressive mother, is both envious of and angry at James, who at least is being accused of things that are not gay. Plus, James is a DJ in his early twenties while Jax is still pouring drinks in his mid-thirties. It’s no wonder that Jax comes at James, leading to James ordering a Pumptini with excellent satire. I really wish Saturday Night Live would cast him, already.
When It Wasn’t About the Pasta
Season 6, Episode 7: It’s Not About the Pasta
Okay, so this one also wasn’t intentionally funny, but I was hard-pressed to find a moment from Vanderpump Rules that made me laugh harder than when James repeatedly screamed in Lala’s face that “it’s not about the pasta”. Pasta is clearly a code word for “cocaine” but that word is like Voldemort in the VP universe, so let’s just go with the pasta. Background information: Lala had joked about eating Raquel’s pasta. James got mad. And there we have one of the most iconic and hilarious moments in Vanderpump Rules history. Lorne Michaels, if you’re reading this, we need to have a serious chat.