Music-lovers, unite: after a five-year hiatus, Scheana Shay has finally given us a new single in the form of “Better Without You,” a song that she claims is about both her ex-husband Mike Shay and her ex-boyfriend Rob Valletta. It’s kind of like a two for one deal on Old Navy flip flops, and just as flimsy.
The song was debuted in the midst of Season 7, where Scheana tries to backtrack on her obsession with men and pretend that she’s Kelly Clarkson Miss Independent. As if the fact that she was in relationships was the real thing keeping her from winning the Witches of Weho’s friendship. And not, you know. Her personality.
But the Internet has been surprisingly silent on the lyrics of “Better Without You”, a song that can give us tremendous insight into Scheana’s small, Botoxed head.
Verse 1:
You had me once before, but now you lost me twice,
I gave you second chances that don’t make it right
I can only assume that by “second chances” she’s referring to when she found out that Shay had a pill problem and solved it by making him work out five times a week and eat right. Or maybe she’s referring to the time that she got back with Rob after her divorce from Shay, picking up their sad, non-relationship from when it had ended six years earlier. Or as Scheana liked to say, “We’ve been coming to Big Bear for ten years!”, conveniently ignoring her courtship and marriage with Shay.
Chorus:
We could’ve been the shit but all we did was fight
I done gave you all of me what a waste of time
I love that Scheana is pretending that her breakup with Rob was her choice. It’s kind of like the “you can’t fire me, I quit” of breakups.
I don’t need a man to validate my life, no
You done hit rock bottom but I’m doing fine
I don’t need a man to validate my life, no
Get out of my life get out of my shine
I’m so better without you
Yea yea ooooh
I’m so better without you
The thing about Scheana is not that she depends too much on her relationships, although that’s an issue as well. The real problem is that Scheana has no identity. She’s who she thinks you want her to be, 100% of the time. In constantly pretending, she never developed a personality or any real values, aside from Always Look Hot. Which is why she wrote the song in the first place; after she got so much criticism for jumping into a relationship with Rob too fast, she knew she needed to backtrack into what she probably thinks is light feminism. Nothing like a pop song to empower young women and move towards equality!
Verse 2:
People tell me I’m too good to my boo
Spoken: who me? Yea
How do we both only care about
Spoken: am I the only one?
Gave you all of me, but it wasn’t enough
No it wasn’t enough
Breaking my heart surely made me tough
Here, Scheana breaks the convention of the song, integrating spoken word poetry that evokes the likes of Allan Ginsberg and other slam poets on Youtube.
Chorus (x2):
We coulda been the shit but all we did was fight
I done gave you all of me what a waste of time
I don’t need a man to validate my life, no
You done hit rock bottom but I’m doing fine
I don’t need a man to validate my life, no
Get out of my life get out of my shine
I’m so better without you
I’m so better without you
Do you get it? She’s better with you, Rob/ Shay. She has a trainer now and lives in Marina Del Ray and is totally not in a relationship with Adam or that weird guy who was on The Bachelorette!
Oh, Scheana. You’re just as bad at pretending everything is okay as you are at singing. But that’s okay. We love you anyway.
