Like a social worker in the home of an abused child, the more I look into Katie and Tom’s sex life, the more disturbed I become. In general, their relationship is shaky at best. Personally, I would never get over it if my fiancé repeatedly said that he wouldn’t marry me days before our wedding, but apparently, that is where Katie Maloney and I differ.
When you look into Katie and Tom’s sex life, the web only becomes more tangled. In the earlier seasons, we were told two things of their bedroom escapades: one, they didn’t have very sex often, and two, Tom has a foot fetish. We know this, of course, because after Tom poured beer on Katie she revealed his kink, perhaps as punishment for dousing her in hops.
Okay, so he has a foot fetish. Honestly, on this show, it seems weirder to not have a foot fetish. Jax has one, and he is the number one guy in the group, after all.
But I really started to think that Katie is a femdom when Tom gave her a lap dance at their joint bachelor-bachelorette weekend. Was it a joke? Yes, but it was in front of all of their friends, it seemed pretty humiliating, and they both seemed weirdly into it.
But Katie’s sexual domination of Tom was really confirmed for me on the most recent episode of VR, the underwhelming “End of an Era”. In this episode, Katie repeatedly makes fun of Tom’s penis, calling it small and saying that he’s a “grower not a shower”. Tom disagrees, saying he has a “Classic Dick,” which…I’m just not sure how to respond to. He responded by showering her with junk food and a really awkward violin solo. Then they had slow, painful sex, Katie topping him as she shoves his face into the bed, punishing him for spending too much time working, cheating on her multiple times and forcing her to give him an ultimatum to propose. Also for taking that first class seat on the plane even though she BEGGED HIM to trade her.
Okay, so I made up that last part. But it seems like it could be real. Just look at Urban Dictionary’s definition of a femdom.
Humiliation of the sub— check. Not only in this last episode but also before their wedding when she said his “dick doesn’t work”. Ah, the good old days.
Penetration of the sub— check. Tom would totally love being pegged. He has anxiety, loves escaping his neurotic brain, and is really, really lazy.
Bondage/ restraint of the sub— I’m counting their marriage for this category, as Katie is 100% Tom’s ball and chain.
Water sports— okay, I can’t claim that there is any urine in their sex lives. But I can’t deny it, either.
All I’m saying is, there is definitely a power dynamic at play, and we all know who’s in charge.
I mean, do you think it was Schwartz that landed on the theme of “Woodsy Elegance”?
